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Can one decide to distract oneself with or by something?

English Language Learners Asked on January 26, 2021

Is it correct to say

"The girl he’d been long in love didn’t reciprocate so he decided to
distract himself with/by her friend and asked her out on a date"

?

or

"He decided to distract himself with/by a book as he was nervous"

?

Which is considered correct?

2 Answers

If it's a noun used as an instrumental indirect object, it's "with". Where it would be "by" is if it's causitive ("he was distracted by girl") or an action ("he distracted himself by talking with a girl").

Answered by Acccumulation on January 26, 2021

Whether "with" or "by" is often tricky.

In this case, I would analyse it thus:

"He decided to distract himself with a book." In this case, the book is a tool which he is implementing as a technique to distract himself. You do things with a tool.

An example of how you would use "by":

"He was going to church but he was distracted by the boy next door and went fishing instead." In this case, the boy next door is an event which happens outside of his control. You are affected by events outside your control.

The first example you give is another instance of the first of these: the girl is a "tool" which he implements as a distraction technique, however bluntly utilitarian it sounds.

Hence it would be:

"...he decided to distract himself with her friend ..."

Answered by Prime Mover on January 26, 2021

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