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How can I rephrase this sentence to repeat it without being awkward?

English Language Learners Asked by Manaal Siddiqui on December 21, 2021

I’m writing an essay and trying to determine an apt topic sentence for one of my paragraphs. However, it sounds awful and awkward:

"Through their diction, the authors further exemplify the importance of considering what objects represent instead of how they look. "

Earlier in the essay I referred to this point as:

  • "…the two authors create a platform from which to assert the importance of internal, instead of monetary, worth" and
  • "…both offer a glimpse into the lives of two lower-class families, urge against an obsession with monetary value, and demonstrate the importance of family." (thesis)

I thought those sounded better, but I want to change the phrasing so it doesn’t look like the paragraph’s topic sentence is copied and pasted from earlier.

I don’t know if its a stretch posting here, but I’d appreciate some help 🙂

2 Answers

A couple of suggestions for you:

Option 1 - simplifying the statement

"The authors multiple examples provide further evidence of the importance of considering what objects represent instead of how they look."

Option 2 - swapping out dictation and exemplify

"Throughout their study/report, the authors provide ample evidence on the importance of considering what objects represent instead of how they look."

Answered by JC007B on December 21, 2021

One thing you can do is to qualify the word 'diction' (which simply means words or word choices; or enunciation of course). Diction can be positively charged; negatively charged; or carry negative or positive connotations; diction can be archaic; provocative, etc. What sort of diction are these authors using? All this sentence says is the authors are using words... so you might clarify the quality of their words; e.g. "Through their positively charged diction..." Then you need to give specific examples... what words exactly carry positive (or negative) connotations; or whatever point it is you are trying to make.

Answered by David Anson on December 21, 2021

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